Official Al-Can Trip Log
   by Bryan Medsker (bryanm@acsalaska.net),
  Rod Remily (ennuiboy@hotmail.com),
and Royce Williams (royce@tycho.org)

        compiled 03/03/1994
     cleaned up a bit 03/30/1998

KEY:

Date/Time, Mileage, Author of note, amt of gas, price gas, buyer
text of log entry text of log entry text of log entry text of log entry text of log entry text of log entry text of log entry text of log entry


LOG BEGINS

May 17 10:14p ? Royce
Collecting a few things we forgot. Dropping by Tammy's to say good-bye and get some well-wishing.

10:58p 60660.6 Royce
Going to pick up Mr. Very Late. Hope he found someone to take his car to Continental.

11:01p 60661.7 Royce
"Whoever wants to sleep can sleep. Whoever wants to drive can drive."

11:21p 60664.7 Royce
Rod getting money from machine. Have given Jana's number to Ms. Remily. Afraid she will call and make keening noises.

11:28p 60665.0 Bryan
Waiting in van for Rodnick. We thinks Royce shall drive us from town. Are not sure who will need to sleep first, and who can drive.

11:42p 60665.35 Bryan
Leaving.

May 18 12:00 60683.2 Bryan
Midnight. Seemed at the time to be a meaningful time to make an entry.

12:03a 60691.5 Bryan
Passed over new Knik River Bridge.

12:21a 60703.x Bryan
First waste of gas. Rod confused Palmer with Wasilla. (Okay, a few yards was all it was.)

3:25a 60841.5 Bryan 5.1 gal, $6.00, Royce
Gas at Hub of AK.

4:05a 60884.4 Rod
First sign of large fauna (moose). Royce tried, but missed.

4:13a 60892.2 Rod
Saw 2nd large herbivore, it was very wise, made us sing Pink Floyd. Or did it? ...

4:21a 60902.? Rod
3rd boring moose, I feel myself growing weary of rating common forest animals. Brian feigns sleep, while plotting our deaths. Saw two moose. View allows visual aid to continental drift.

4:41a 60928.6 Rod
First road kill, sadly we didn't do it. Formerly a rabbit/hare. Decided we had enough to eat. Will get the pelt on way back.

5:05a 60975.2 Rod 12.77 gal, $18.45, Rod
Entered Tok. Gas was exploding before Royce's eyes. He will die soon without cheese. Fill gas tank. Eat breakfast, must remember to put Valium in Mr. Williams' Pop-Tarts tomorrow.

6:21a 60977.1 Bryan
Had breakfast. Leaving Tok. 93 mi. to border.

7:52a 61058.27 Royce
Stopped at the not-quite-finished Tetlin Visitor Center. Became very quiet to hear "world without humans." Shouted a bit until we felt better. Took pictures in rotation. Wonder about air in tires. Three miles from border.

7:59a 61065.1 Royce
Saw sign saying "Entering Canada." No hockey yet. No MacKenzie brothers on passing bus.

8:12a 61069.9 Royce
Ran over a gigantic pile of rocks. Going back to US Customs to see if someone can do a good imitation of a belt.

8:50a 61086.5 Royce 6.5 gal, $10.34, Rod
Customs had no custom belts. Were told by Portly Patrol Poop that there was somewhere five miles back towards Alaska. No dice. Clicking sound made by loose power-steering thingie has disappeared, although now instead of being twisted (stage 1) or sideways (stage 2) it is now entirely inside-out. Rodoid says that this will result in some kind of interstellar convergence, or at least, the belt will wear out more quickly, in which case, Bryan (or whoever else will be driving) will get a free arm-workout, sans power steering. Worst case, we drive until we find a place that can replace it. Or the car might explode. We have been parked at the last Texaco and Rod has just payed $10.34 for 6.5 gallons of gas. We have purchased an extra pint to burn a small wood thing shaped like Woody Harrelson.

11:19a 61111.6 Royce
After discovering a knocking near left rear tire, stopped at Petro-Canada to have it looked at, as well as replacing or checking the belt. Total charge for flip of belt and tighten of shock bolt: C$12.50. Full tank, repairs holding up on the way to Destruction Bay, where Rod hopes to engage in some recreational nostalgia, and scope a babe from the last trip.

1:00p 61125.0 Bryan
Okay. After a routine potty/car maintenace stop (tightened shock), Royce could not find his !@#$% keys. Which were really mine, five keys in all. The Vorpal Pocket of Royce (distance cousin of place where lost socks go) finally failed to digest, and subsequently regurgitated the keys, which had been missing when Royce checked his pockets _twice_. The Trip continues.

3:00p 61240.1 Rod
Depart Destruction BAY quickly to escape bus full of gypsies wishing to purchase Bryan for soup stock. (felt it best not to mention to others) Consumed food while Royce used the old "ask about dog, sleep together bit." ... it failed. Dog rejected offer. Cute waitress obviously on to better things in life. Bryan attempts to sleep after hard day in restroom. Royce practices for Indy 500 on way to Haines Junction for wholesale underwear. (I don't think I'll tell him) I think we lost gypsies ... but can't be sure. They're pretty crafty ....
Secured item needed. Tested for purity. Plans within plans.

3:38p 61268.7 Rod
Saw first motorcyclist, Harley-Davidson of course. Established contact. Signaled possession of the item. Will transfer contraband when no one is looking.

8:00p 61292.1 Rod 2.50L, C$17.00, Royce
Excellent time to Haines Junction. Royce disappointed by no underwear. Is now using extra Hefty bags w/holes cut into them. Keeping Bryan drugged w/pure vodka, instead of Evian, at this point he can't tell the difference. Am currently plotting a coup d'etat, searching van for supporters ...

? 61375.3 Rod
Enter Whitehorse. Shock causing problems again. Mr. Williams "Kiss the Twix" is complaining that we can't go Mach II. Bryan is coming out of his coma, need to find the Thorazine in my bag. Problem w/left blinker, Royce thinks it's sabotage. I make trouble and agree. Sadly, 1 package of essential item has been mistakenly ingested.

5:45p 61338.7 Bryan 34.30L, C$22.25, Bryan
Rear shock is still bad, and the service places are closed. I'll try driving towards Watson Lake now.

10:52p 61403.1 Royce
Well, we're still here. After inspecting the shock, we are going to go ahead and go on to Watson Lake anyway, at reduced speed, to try to minimize the time wasted by the fact that the #@?! mechanics all went home five minutes before we got to town. Rod driving a bit, followed by maybe me. Should take 6 hours or so. The God of Mechanics, Lambada, will receive no tithe from me this season. We have been on the road for slightly over 24 hours, and I already feel like Sisyphus. Wonder how long w/o showers we can go before we begin to damage the asphalt. Would kill for a 286 12MHz.

11:58p 61536.x Bryan
We just crossed the YT-BC border, on the way to Watson Lake. It's a good thing there weren't any border guards.

May 19 2:00a 61576.4 Rod 42.7L, C$23.00, Royce
Stop for gas. Swift River. [Royce]: Tried to push Rod in front of Greyhound Bus. Bus bucked.

7:05a 61577.5 Bryan
Leaving little place along detour, after a few hours of sleep. [Royce]: My soap has attempted to escape, but fell to its death from the dashboard. We are now using it for "parts." Rod breathing uncrushed rocks. We have picked up a man who calls himself "The Mystic Adventurer of Twisty Pink Space-Time." His sidekick is called "Tim." They are boring as hell.

9:49a 61676.8 Bryan
We stopped at Grunow Motors and got a bolt put in the shock. Our flasher unit is broken, but who cares? We can do it manually until later. Also got ripped off for a pair of pliers.

9:58a 61677.7 Bryan ?L, C$13.00, Royce
Leaving Watson Lake.

12:50a 61841.9 Bryan 39.55L, C$25.26, Bryan
Gas at J&H Wilderness. [Royce]: I had breakfast, Rod had dinner, Bryan had lunch. Then we gave a play totally impromptu to squirrels.

5:30p 62061.0 Rod
Well, strange things have happened since last entry um Gas was bought by Royce and Bryan cause I got no Canadian so I pay in states. um ... we couldn't write in journal because secret agent masquerading as moron slowing us down released nerve gas that disabled portion of brain responsible for these things. I suspect he was from future, working for rival publishing company attempting to prevent us from creating greatest travel diary in history.

5:39p 62069.? Rod
Bizarre twist to traveling history, had to navigate oiled, extremely dusty, loose graveled, mined, soft shouldered, narrow single lane Git of Hell, in which we saw the cutest flag woman yet. Worst part was having to drive the section backwards.

two (one?) gas stops

8:01p 62150.0 Bryan
Driving away from Pink Mountain. Called asst. 'rents, had food (pastries/small burgers), got gas (Royce). Nice roads out here. Have been burning bridges behind us, but have been doing no good, as they are made of steel.

8:31p 62192.3 Rod
We saw bears! A little black bear and a bigger brown bear possibly its mother, and to celebrate Royce once again impresses us w/his ability to nearly kill us. I change my undies. Decided to drive till we puke. Just saw student from my Math 106 class, cool. We passed him. (I won't mention that he said if he ever saw me again he'd kill me.)

8:47p Rod
Royce once again got our attention (I think he didn't get much attention as a child) by nearly hitting deer. Brakes work well. Bryan got stuck in back of my headrest, will think of something.

9:42p Rod
Royce is definitely out to kill us. I had to tell him not to sit with the people in car in front of us. Am beginning to think he was kidnapped and a faulty imposter was supplied. Will begin to test his memory.

9:45p 62273.7 Rod
Enter Dawson Creek.

10:??p Bryan ?L, C$13.63, Bryan?
Filled up tank in Dawson Creek

May 20 12:17a Bryan
Rod saw two moths in the headlights, and thought they were the eyes of a quite large animal. The following sudden braking awoke Royce better than the deer did.

12:51a 62418.x Bryan
First rain of trip. Might help, with so many bug guts on the windshield. There's a tiny bug inside, and Rod wants me to kill it. I think I'm too tired to care.

1:15a 62413.0 Royce 31.65L, C$18.00, Royce
Nice place - Windy Point Inn. Lots of cool stuff. Ask Bryan.

8:10a 62565.85 Royce
Rod drugged us and drove 700 mph. He says we are still in Canada, but I don't believe him. We have slept for four hours, and desperately need to be sandblasted.

8:36a 62585.x Bryan
New road sign experience: "Slippery when frosty."

9:00a 62601.7 Rod ?L, C$17.00, Bryan
Got gas. Took some Pepto, bought ice. Wonder if we have to have permit to dump foreign ice residue ... only @425 miles to Portland. FUCK!

11:55a 62668.8 Bryan
For the first time on the trip, we are cleaner than the van. A nice man at Wildwood let us purge our bodies of all impurities for C$3 apiece. Another nice man at Econo-Zen let us purge our minds of impurities for 1/32 of our souls.
Note: I just remembered - just on the way out of DC, I looked to the right (at night) and saw the Statue of Liberty. It may have been backwards. Inform Mulrooney at next available time.

12:??p 62674.0 Bryan
Stopped at McDougal's in Williams Lake, so Rod can have breakfast. Royce is listening to Comfortably Numb. I just noticed that we are clean - we don't have to worry about being seen by women. Rod is taking a while, which is understandable, as it is lunchtime; and not too bad, as there are cute Canadian fast food junkie babes to gaze upon.

12:28p 62682.9 Bryan
Rod brought back some McD's pizza. I and Royster tried some. It was pretty good, believe it or not! I am surprised. Royce is still arguing with Murphy about the passing possibilities.

? ? Rod
Mile 140 till border is a sign - Rodney Rd. Must have it on way back!

2:20p 62771.5 Rod
Didn't do anything interesting at all. Royce goes speed limit at all times. Beautiful flag ladies at all stops. Yes, nice weather too. Sadly, Royce lost C$100.00 somewhere along highway, too bad. It was either cheque or money order. Can't tell.

? 62797.5 Royce ?L, C$15.01, Royce
Gas and stuff.

7:13p 62975.1 Royce ? gal, $15.00, Royce?
We went out of Canuck Land a bit ago. I was driving, and the other goons neglected to record the historic moment. We are driving through variations of medium blatter #3 and #5. Nearing a (rood?) that can see stuff. $15.00 for gas in Sumas border bit.

7:20p 62980.x Bryan
"Potatoes Ahead
Canadians Welcome"

8:17p 63037.x Bryan
Royce: "Why do they have Washington on all the ... [signs]"

May 21 5:45p ? SB
RJ just left tired and hungry. Royce is thumping away @ the computer, Bryan's sitting on one bed, Rod's on the other & NOBODY'S DONE A DAMN THING ALLLL DAY! Sounds like we're back home sitting in Royce's room.

May 24th 3:43p 63291.4 Royce ? gal, $10 (and $5 for oil), Rod
Outta here. Just got gas and oil.

9:22p 63478.1 Royce ? gal, $11.15, Rod
Well. Spent a long time looking for John Schumacher in Olympia - finally found him when we sent up a flare that looked like Tasya Chambers. Had a good visit and traded gossip. Found 272nd Ave where Scott lives very easily, but he was not home, or else was boinking a bit. Left him a note. Reflecting on Jana's words that I should have called first. But hey, at least I got to eat a lot of fast food.

May 25 2:24a 63692.1 Royce 36.97L, C$22.00 (Royce) C$2.00 (Rod)
In Hope, Land of Sweaty-Humped Musk Ox and the mysterious Dung Village (TM). We have purchased a wad o' gases and there are now 36.97 litres more in the tank than there was. Bryan has acquired an orange robe and has shaved his head and pelvic regions. He wants to stop for anti-itching Gold Bond Medicated Power (TM), but his pleas for mercy in the name of the Dalai Lama are falling on deaf ears. He has cursed us with the Whammy of Eternal Underwear Squirminess. I think I like it.

8:04a 63883.4 Royce 41.68L, C$22.47, Bryan
Napped for a bit, then consumed small forest animals for sustenance. We are now approximately 7 billion miles from Alpha Centauri. Expect to drive straight through.

12:55p 64108.1 Bryan 36.22L, C$20.25, Royce
Gas.

4:50p 64342.x Bryan

Bryan gas    C$21.00       Chetwynd
Rod   liquid P$19.24       Atlanta
Royce solid  q$ 2.99       Perth
8:22p 64493.47 Royce 42.10L, C$28.00, Royce

Woo - back at Pink Mountain. Rod is sending out runners.

11:46p 64680.5 Bryan ?L, C$15.00, Bryan
Steamboat.

May 26 3:15a 64690.? Royce ?L, C$29.60, Royce
Drove not much and then had to stop because of major phog invasion. Have slept since about midnight. Not sure if we are leaving. Do not forward mail.

8:09a 64823.2 Royce
Have just had a dip in the Amazing Canadian Schweppes Hot Springs. We now smell like sulphur but we feel warmed and happy. Rod is cooked. Now we are taking off. Bryan is driving.

11:05a 64957.7 Bryan 27.11L, C$17.00, Bryan
We just got gas at Watson Lake. After yet another nap, Bryan will try driving again.

3:43p 65119.0 Bryan
We only have one quart of oil in the engine. We had the oil and oil filter changed for C$38.15 total. He put in four metric quarts.

5:05p 65216.7 Bryan 21.47L, C$13.50, Royce
Whitehorse.

7:30p 65317.0 Royce 27.34L, C$18.00, Bryan
Some gas station. Took some pictures. We accosted by some psycho who insisted he was Margaret Thatcher. Got some gas. Not sure how much yet. Just writing to fill space and time now. Blah blah. Peace love dope.

11:10a 65522.55 Royce ? gal, $14.15, Royce
Back in civilization. Have killed three pedestrians.

9:30a 65920.2 Bryan
Final log entry. We are home. Rod has been dropped off, and Royce and I are at Royce's house, washing the van and making final log entries. We are surprised to discover that our mothers have run off to become nuns. Our fathers dealt with the shock by going bowling last Friday.


TRIP TOTALS


              TOTAL MILES               TOTAL GAS
             -------------      -------------------------
                65920.2         Royce  $ 6.00   C $228.51
               -60660.6         Bryan  $        C $171.61
                -------         Rod    $ 54.94  C $  2.00
                 5259.6 mi             ------------------
                                       $ 60.94  C $402.12

C$402.12 / 3 = C$134.04 gas usage per person

        C$228.51 Royce paid              C$171.61 Bryan paid
     -    134.04 1/3 total            -    134.04 1/3 total
     -----------                      -----------
        C$ 94.47                         C$ 37.57
     *      0.81                      *      0.81
     -----------                      -----------
         $ 76.52 Rod owes Royce           $ 30.43 Rod owes Bryan

Last updated: 2016-10-15