DISCLAIMER: 1. The opinions, views, beliefs, philosophies of life, and body positions expressed herein are not necessarily those of the Federal Government, the State of Alaska, the Municipality of Anchorage, The University of Alaska, its administrators, faculty, or non-faculty employees, the United Nations, the Federal Bureau of Investigation, the Central Intelligence Agency, the National Security Agency, the Environmental Protection Agency, the National Football League, the American Association of Retired Persons, Alcoholics Anonymous, The Salvation Army, Sachs Fifth Avenue, Arby's, Jesse "The Body" Ventura, Sean Cassidy, One Guy from Italy, the Borg, Tom Bodett, Yitzhak Shamir, the Everly Brothers, Murdoch from "A-Team," the Vienna Boys Choir, Tammy "Peaches" Ketchum, Senator Cantor from Standard Oil, OJ Simpson, Stephen Hawking, Steven King, Steven Spielberg, Stevie Ray Vaughn, Stevie Nicks, Steve Miller, Steve Martin, the makers of the Chia Pet, Remington Steele, Immanuel Kant, Stan Lee, Ayn Rand, Jackson Pollock, J.R. "Bob" Dobbs, Sean Ryan, Kurt Vonnegut, Scott Baio, Jerry Lewis, Kip Tyner, or any of the inhabitants of Norway. But they could be. For all we know, any of these folks could be really bizarre, bizarre enough to be proponents of the things one generally finds in the IRN answers. But we don't know that, because none of them are subscribers, so we can't attach any of this mental oscillation to them, however @$^@$# hilarious that would be. 2. The express intent of this publication is voluntary readership. If you've got two million of these things in your mailbox and you're getting some kind of message saying, "%HOLY-SHIT, your mailbox is 40 billion blocks overdrawn," it's not in the least bit my fault. In fact, it's your own fault and you have no one to blame but yourself, so you can't blame me, 'cause I won't let you. You are advised to drop me a line if you're going to Jamaica for spring break and don't actually plan on coming back until Simon divorces that New Bohemian woman and marries Garfunkel. If, by some weird quirk of quarks striking my directory, you have mistakenly subscribed to this thing, please feel free to drop me a line saying that you would rather spend your time watching slugs dry or something equally soul-stirring, and you won't see another weird thing. At least, not from me. I cannot be held responsible for any other weirdness that may or may not occur to you. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- T h e I n f o r m a l R e s o u r c e N e t w o r k ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- is a weekly (?) publication and draws its material from its readership. This compilation and the weird short little comments after everybody's answers are copyright 1994 by me, probably. Which isn't to say that I think that I'm going to make any money off of this. I just don't want anybody putting anything really rude in here and attributing it to me without my approval first. Heck, if someone comes up with something weirder, more power to 'em, I say, but they can start their own thingie, and call it something else entirely, I dunno, Make Fun of Your Friends for Free or some such. But I digress. All authorship and copy rights concerning individual entries may or may not be reserved by their original owners. Requests for subscription must be formally received, and receipt of that request constitutes permission to reproduce, for the purpose of this publication only, the text of the answers. (Like I would want to reproduce them anyway. Unless I write a book someday. In which case, I'll make up something myself and blame it on all of you.) Requests for back-issues may be presented, but may not be heeded. Suggestions, comments, and requests for sub/unsub -scription may be posted to ASRDW1@ORION.ALASKA.EDU. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------