THE I.R.N. ANSWER -- Vol 5, #3 A N S W E R S T O T H E I R N Q U E S T I O N ----------------------------------------------------- "What kind of music do you listen to?" Volume 005, Number 003 February 07, 1994 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . "- all the gnus that have fits to Prince -" ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- LETTER FROM THE EDITOR I'm too sleepy to do this. My brain hurts. It really seems like there is something floating above my head, covered with non-dairy whipped topping and screaming quietly into a purple bubble cone of death, ordering my execution for lack of consciousness-stream. Good thing I'm union. -- ASRDW1 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- FROM -- ORION::ASSBC "Panda Kahn" I like almost any type of music. The only true exceptions are really twangy country (ala' Porter Wagonner) or really badly done rap (ala' Vanilla Ice). I recommend the indigo girls, Robert Johnson, Eric Clapton, Concreate Blonde, They Might Be Giants, weird Al, Sting, Beethoven and The Cowboy Junkies. Oh yeah! I love the "Animaniac's" Sound track...... :-) R: I just had this image of a bunch of guys around a campfire with rubber tubing tied around their arms. "Buck, pass the syringe." "Man, them cow pies are lookin' purty tasty, there, Jeb!" "COWS! COWS EVERYWHERE!!!" FROM -- ORION::ASGDS "......Pooh Styxx" I have pretty eclectic musical tastes, mainly stuff from the 60's (on occasion the 70's), Alternative, Classical (i.e. Bach, Betoven, und the boys), and even some top-40 stuff. I tend to lean towards specific artists, if I hear something by a person or group and I like it, I'll buy the CD. The bothersome thing is that I can rarely get the music and voices in my head to quiet themselves enough to listen to my stereo. Sometimes they get so loud that I can do nothing except stare off into space, trying to ignore them. Usually, playing with my straight-edged razor collection helps. Gotta go now, I've gotta study, (yeah that works) Bye, Bye, Everybody. (Especially you Royce!) R: Did you ever wonder what happened to that kid down the street that everyobody thought was going to go berserk and start killing people in Denny's at 3:30 in the afternoon on a Sunday just because he didn't get a spoon straw with his chocolate-banana shake? FROM -- ORION::ASJWK2 "The Judge" I listen only to music by people who don't dangle their participles on the vax. Perhaps what you meant was, "To what kind of music do you listen?" Then again, maybe I'm just being anal retentive again. Wait, does anal retentive have a hyphen? Oh dear. (Only the most observant of IRN readers will notice that I didn't answer the question at all. Can you tell I'm taking Political Science?) R: For what kind of fool do you take me? "Yes, I'll take that weird guy there for ... um ... that orange fool." FROM -- ORION::ASJRB "ten circles of love" what i enjoy listening to is a broad spectrum of music, which is generally very powerful and expressive. this includes everything from classical to thrashing industrial. what i actually listen to however, is music which could only be described as "not very good" by a man who knew only the words "not", "very", and "good", but "truly bothersome, yet somewhat satisfying to my palette" by someone who really wanted to show off to the aforementioned gentleman. examples of these works include such titles as the Jamestown Anal Choir's 24 disc tribute to Barry Manilow, "Beans for a Crooner", featuring a solo by world reknown fartist Ed "flappy" Kaufman; "Slatelovers", a full 60 minutes of fingernails scraping a chalkboard; "Regurgitation Nation", which melds vomiting sounds sampled from some of the world's most deathly ill with a driving percussion created by hitting bloated old men in their stomachs with croquet mallets; and finally, "Chattanooga Chew Chew", a stunning recording of chef extrordinaire Dom Deluise eating an entire 14 course meal, with tracks corresponding to such dishes as "hairy armpit stew", "find the smashed bug in your rotten toad salad", "if you don't eat all your liver you won't get any gristle", and other favourites. Self-repulsion is the way to starvation. R: I, myself, have sent away for my FREE recipe book, "How to Make Everyone Leave *BEFORE* You Even Start Cooking." Doesn't really have anything to do with food, just suggestions for really sick body positions and various epithets and explosives useful for getting out of having to reveal that you wouldn't know margarine from a big glowing rock falling out of the sky. FROM -- ORION::ASFJP "Irrev. George W. Hayduke" Eh? What kind of music? Rather than answer that one, let me rattle off my entire CD collection. Grateful Dead: The Grateful Dead Aoxomoxoa Live/Dead Workingman's Dead American Beauty Without a Net In the Dark Europe '72 Grateful Dead/Grateful Dead Infrared Roses Reckoning Blues for Allah Mars Hotel Wake of the Flood Bear's Choice {One,Two} from the Vault Related CD's: Rhythm Devils: Apocalypse Now sessions Mickey Hart: Rolling Thunder Planet Drum At the Edge DAFOS Jerry Garcia: Reflections Garcia Jerry Garcia Band Babatunde Olatjuni: Drums of Passion/The Beat Deadicated Art of Noise: Best of AON In No Sense? Nonsense! Phish: Picture of Nectar Lawn Boy Junta Rift Talking Heads: Popular Favorites David Byrne: The Forest Jethro Tull: 20 year sampler Tangerine Dream: Zeit Blues Traveler: self-titled Travelers and Thieves Pink Floyd: The Piper at the Gates of Dawn Ummagumma Meddle Dark Side of the Moon Animals Wish You were Here Works And this isn't even a complete list. These are the ones I happen to have in front of me. There are plenty more about this room somewhere. This is the music I have. What do I listen to, tho, was the question.. hmm. I don't listen to music, really.. I just turn on various bugs I have planted around the city, listen to people {conduct shady business/political deals, engage in espionage,have sex,beat their children,do nothing at all} and broadcast it over shortwave. Only kidding. The funny thing is that I don't have a radio or tape deck or anything like that in my truck. Just a couple big gaping holes in the dashboard where a stereo should go, or at least a weapons console. One of these days I will build a HUD projector into the dashboard, get some radar-homing missiles, and never worry about rush hour again. Which is a rather silly thing for me to worry about since I work the graveyard shift. CD's fit perfectly into .50 caliber ammo boxes, I'll have you all know. There isn't a better CD case made. One can never have too many ammo boxes. They are great storage devices. I'm going away now. Peace, L0VE, and strudel.. Geo. W. Hayduke System Benevolent Dictator, Radio Free Fredbox President Pro Tempore of the Association for People who Aren't Allowed. And all-around ghood ghuy. R: I really wonder if Fred is actually just feeling a bit under the weather, or if this is actually a sign of health for him. "Erm, are those lesions ... disagreeable?" "Nothing whipped cream won't cure." FROM -- ORION::ASTCR "Where's my wife?" Do I listen to music? Gosh what a thought, I just thought that the machine in the corner was there for looks and that there was not way to control what it was doing. I have managed on occasion to turn the thing on so that I could listen to the Seawolfs lose. But at this time I could not get the volume right. So the comercails were loud and the game was soft. I guess I listen to the music that I am forced to listen to from others and the music they put in movies. AaaRRRGGGGHHH!!!!! I have no control. Royce I need help finding a person for that garter you gave me. R: Uh ... I told you to never post messages to me at school. (blush) Come on, Torgier, I'm sure that garter would fit your mother just fine. FROM -- BRADY@SATURN.UAA* "brady@saturn.uaamath.alaska.edu" Well, they use carrots, cucumbers work well, and one time, although it was more disgusting than anything else, I saw someone use a watermelon! But my favorite.. althought its really rare to find, is when you can find someone who will let you watch them use a really gooey ripe avacado. That's love. Oh wait, you asked about *music*. Well, Seattle grunge is my favorite, but (as a lot of you know) I listen to just about anything.. :) R: Oooh, oooh, shameless plug! (What is that, naked corks? Hmm ... "Naked Corks" ... sounds like a Muppet porno.) FROM -- ORION::ASLJL "The Lady Rhavyn Of The Art" What Kind Of music Do I listen to? Well I listen to classical,opera, folk, jazz, newage, pagan, and pop rock. I hate and can't stand alternative or Hard acid rock!!!! sorry I am just an unconventional person and oh sdid you know that there is a CD collection of 1980's hits now? I just had to break down and buy them, I got them and realized that I heard this stuff about 4 years ago or longer and it was music I liked. I then looked up Dana and said I'M OLD EEEKKK! LYNN R: I tried looking up Dana once, but the cork was in the way, not to mention Torgier's garter. What a party. FROM -- ACAD3A::ASRDR "my moral standing is lying down" Hm. Loud. Lots of screaming...bizarre samples. Men running around inside an empty watertower banging on the walls. Forks scraped across an electrified shopping cart. Drums...played forward and backward. Samples from "Deep Throat." Deep, throbbing bass. Cross-dressers. Evil remakes of pseudo-religious music. Pumped-up versions of children's tv shows. Bricks. Green puppets strumming banjos. A meaty dish of leftovers. Sheep in a field as a train rolls by, Elvis in the background. Drug music. Unsusual collaborations. In other words... Oddities. Stuff today's pop-infested heads cringe at when it's played. The list above contains...nin, Front242, Einsturzende Neubauten, any decent hardcore techno, Rocky Horror Show, Sesame's Treet, Bigod20's version of 'Like A Prayer,' Floyd's Wall, Muppet Movie, Meat Loaf, KLF, Legendary Pink Dots, Judgement Night...and much more. BTW...the new Enigma is excellent, imho. Woody R: It took me a long time to get that one ... wow ... must have taken a lot of planning to time your trip back to the 20th century just in time to answer that question before the Zuur could catch you, reverse-engineer your DNA, force-feed you apricot Jell-O, and force you at gunpoint to father most of the ancestors of the population of New Zealand. And to think I wouldn't have known, if I had missed Mr. Rogers today. FROM -- ACAD3A::FSJJP "Lord Corwin" What kind of music do I listen to? Kitaro R: Cool. I approve. FROM -- ORION::ASEMG "snowhite" I listen to music with a stream of consciousness..theirs or mine... R: Have you considered terraforming? FROM -- ORION::ASPWC "Gypsy Rover" Well, Gertrude, since you've had the courtesy to inquire, I shall tell you a little something of myself... Ever since I was a little child, I've had a certain recording that I've treasured. It was given to me, when, with my family, I was on an inspection tour of the Ethiopian Sewer Security Bureau. You know the problems they were having in those days, what with the price on alligators... There wasn't a day went by when you didn't stroll down the street and see some poor urchin, rosy pink bottom to the sky, fishing for alligators...and then there were those disreputable industrial takeover agents, trying to muscle in on the poor children's territories... *sigh* Such is the evil in the world... But my aging mind wanders...I think of many things...and believe me, Helga my love, when you have seen as many years as I, you too shall wonder what lies in the future. At any rate, this recording was given to me, as a present from the Chief of Security...he was just trying to butter up Papa, "Ooh, look at the little man! He's so big and strong!", but what did I care? I knew I would be the envy of all my classmates...I would be the only one with a huge copper disk! And, my dear, what a disk it was! It was just covered with miniscule hen- tracks, the like of which my wondering eyes had never seen. Many years later, me Mumsy told me in a moment of weakness that they'd been scribed there with an awl, in the last minutes before my uncle died...rest his soul. I'd never known till that second why my mother had a tail...she said it was because she'd descended from the tree more recently than some of her brethren. I was shocked to learn the truth, you may be sure, my pretty... At any rate, this disk was put in the summer cottage, as so many things that children forget. I only just found it again, when my dear mother climbed back into her tree. Taking it to my dear colleague, Dr. Rasmussen, I had the markings decoded. After all this time, and they were so so delicate to begin with, there was hardly anything left of the inscriptions, but through the methods the children of my old age have come by, old Bradley managed to break the code! And what do you suppose had been my gift, so many decades ago, in that golden, dusty sewer entrance? When the encryptions were solved, and converted to sound, I could hardly believe my quavering ears! It was that sound! So old and familiar, comforting, it brought tears to my eyes just to think of it... It was the sound of kumquats being lovingly smashed... *long, drawn-out sigh* -stage lights dim- And now, off to bed with you, little one. Sleep well, Beatrice. Have I ever mentioned how much you remind me of my sister? No? Well, you do... R: I cannot top this. Woo. FROM -- ORION::PSALP "A bright, bright sun-shiny day" #### #### ######### ######### #### #### ############# ############# #### #### #### #### #### #### #### #### #### #### #### #### #### #### #### #### #### #### #### #### #### #### #### #### #### #### #### #### #### #### #### #### #### #### #### #### #### #### #### #### #### #### #### #### #### #### #### #### ################ #### ############ ############ ############# ########## ######### (Funky! Funky!) R: KIDS! Now is the time you've been waiting for! Just take out your I.R.N. Secret Decoder Text File and hold it up over your terminal! A secret message will magically appear! If you haven't received your Decoder in the mail, you can still be in on the secret! See the end of this text file! FROM -- ARIEL@DUCKMAIL.U* "ariel@duckmail.uoregon.edu" I've got a question for you Royce. What kind of question is that?! Sheesh! Well, I think I'd have to say that I listen to the music that is beneath the surface in all things great and small, the music that runs through every animal, vegetable,and mineral on our sweet Earth. The music that did we stop to listen, would flow through us and pirce our hearts (ouch!) and flood our souls (glub, glub, gargle). R: I, myself, have seen a Neil Sedaka tune flowing through my mother's poodle. A religious experience of unprecedented boredom. Also, I'm not sure about this one, but I think that I saw some Van Halen in a cow once. But it could have been the theme song to "T.J. Hooker." FROM -- ORION::PSSIB "PSSIB@orion.alaska.edu" "What kind of music do you listen to?" Hmm. When I first heard this question, I thought: Well, now here's a prosaic, common question. Wonder How I can answer it in a unique, IRN'ish way. Hmm... I like listening to music that likes to listen to me. I know country/western songs don't like me. Whenever one comes on, my feet just take out the room faster than a muthaf *BEEP*ith his punk a*BEEEEEEEEEEEP*k on fire. R: (sound of gunfire) Gee, I sure miss Grandma. FROM -- ORION::ASRDW1 "Tycho Tithonus" A New Machine Part 1 - A New Machine Part 2 - A Pillow of Winds - A Saucerful of Secrets - A Spanish Piece - Absolutely Curtains - Alan's Psychedelic Breakfast - Another Brick in the Wall (Part I) - Another Brick in the Wall (Part II) - Another Brick in the Wall (Part III) - Any Colour You Like - Arnold Layne - Astronomy Domine - Atom Heart Mother Suite - Baby Blue Shuffle in "D" Major - Biding My Time - Bike - Brain Damage - Bring the Boys Back Home - Burning Bridges - Careful With That Axe, Eugene - Childhood's End - Cirrus Minor - Comfortably Numb - Corporal Clegg - Crumbling Land - Crying Song - Cymbaline - Dogs - Don't Leave Me Now - Dramatic Theme - Echoes - Eclipse - Embryo - Empty Spaces - Fat Old Sun - Fearless - Free Four - Get Your Filthy Hands Off My Desert - Goodbye Blue Sky - Goodbye Cruel World - Grantchester Meadows Green is the Colour - Have a Cigar - Hey You - Ibiza Bar - If - In the Flesh - In the Flesh? - Interstellar Overdrive - Is There Anybody Out There? - Jugband Blues - Julia Dream - Labyrinth - Learning to Fly - Let There be More Light - Main Theme - Money - More Blues - Mother - Mudmen - Nobody Home - Not Now John - Obscured by Clouds - On the Run - On the Turning Away - One of My Turns - One of the Few - One of These Days - One Slip - Oneone/Fingal's Cave - Outside the Wall - Paint Box - Paranoid Eyes - Part One -- Entrance - Part Three -- Exit - Part Two -- Entertainment - Party Sequence - Pigs (Three Different Ones) - Pigs on the Wing (Part One) - Pigs on the Wing (Part Two) - Point Me at the Sky - Quicksilver - Remember a Day - Remember a Day - Run Like Hell - San Tropez - Seamus - See Emily Play - See Saw - Set the Controls for the Heart of the Sun - Several Species of Small Furry Animals Gathered Together in a Cave and Grooving with a Pict - Sheep - Shine On You Crazy Diamond I-V - Shine On You Crazy Diamond VI-IX - Signs of Life - Sorrow - Southampton Dock - Speak to Me/Breathe in the Air - Stay - Stop - Summer '68 - Sysyphus--Part I Sysyphus--Part II Sysyphus--Part III Sysyphus--Part IV Terminal Frost - The Dogs of War - The Final Cut - The Fletcher Memorial Home - The Gold It's in the ... - The Grand Vizier's Garden Party - The Great Gig in the Sky - The Gunners Dream - The Happiest Days of Our Lives - The Hero's Return - The Narrow Way -- Parts I,II,III - The Nile Song - The Post War Dream - The Show Must Go On - The Thin Ice - The Trial - Time - Two Suns in the Sunset - Up the Khyber - Us and Them - Vera - Waiting for the Worms - Welcome to the Machine - When You're In - Wish You Were Here - Wots ... Uh the Deal - Yet Another Movie - Young Lust - Your Possible Pasts - also, some Cat Stevens, Eagles, Metallica, Jethro Tull, Heart, Rush, the 1812 Overture, and a really cool song by Tennessee Ernie Ford called "Sixteen Tons." * - END OF ANSWERS - * ***************************************************************************** KIDS! SECRET MESSAGE: "Drink your Ovaltine!" ***************************************************************************** ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- T h e I n f o r m a l R e s o u r c e N e t w o r k ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- is a weekly (?) publication and draws its material from its readership. This compilation and the weird short little comments after everybody's answers are copyright 1994 by Royce Williams. All authorship and copy rights concerning individual entries may or may not be reserved by their original owners. Requests for subscription must be formally received, and receipt of that request constitutes permission to reproduce, for the purpose of this publication only, the text of the answers. Requests for back-issues may be presented to the archives, FSCLH@ORION.ALASKA.EDU. Suggestions, comments, and requests for sub/unsubscription may be posted to ASRDW1@ORION.ALASKA.EDU. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- DISCLAIMER: 1) The opinions, views, and beliefs expressed herein are not necessarily those of the Federal Government, the State of Alaska, the Municipality of Anchorage, The University of Alaska-Anchorage, its administrators, faculty, or non-faculty employees. But they could be. For all we know, these folks could be really bizarre. But we don't, so we can't attach any of this mental oscillation to them, however @$^@$# hilarious that would be. 2) The express intent of this publication is voluntary readership. If you've got two million of these things in your mailbox and you're getting some kind of message saying, "%HOLY-SHIT, your mailbox has filled up the Cray," it's not in the least bit my fault. In fact, it's your own fault and you have no one to blame but yourself, so you can't blame me, 'cause I won't let you. If, by some weird quirk of quarks striking my directory, you have mistakenly subscribed to this thing, please feel free to drop me a line saying that you would rather spend your time watching slugs dry or something and you won't see another weird thing. At least, not from my account. I cannot be held responsible for any other weirdness that may or may not occur to you.