#01 ACAD2A::ASRDW1 Sat 04 Sep 1993 00:00:15 ( 21/ 1550) From: Royster Subject: Re: IRN I am not sure if you are familiar with the format of the original IRN, but it consisted of a weekly question, usually of a philosophical or humorous nature. The intent was to compile everyone's answers into a single file, and then send those answers to everyone on the list so that they could see how the others answered. Later, I began to add my own opinions, thoughts, etc. after each answer. It became almost a humorous newsletter of sorts, everyone poking fun at my question, me poking fun at the answers. As the list of "subscribers" grew, however, the file size became rather cumbersome, and ASSPK suggested that we attempt to make it a newsgroup, cutting down on mail size. I had some reservations, because it seemed that I would no longer be able to make comments as I wished to, but I told him that it was a good idea and something that I would be interested in seeing. He wrote to me one day, late this summer, telling me that it had become a newsgroup. I was surprised, and still have no idea how one would arrange to have one created, but apparently, he did. He then wrote me a little later and said that if I wanted to be moderator, that I should let someone know so that it could be arranged. It's been my pet project, although most of the actual work was done at two o'clock in the morning when everything is funny, and I would like to see the IRN continue as close to its original format as possible. I believe that I have all of the back issues, if for some reason you would be interested in seeing the original concept. #02 ACAD2A::ASRDW1 Sun 26 Sep 1993 22:30:22 ( 17/ 384) From: Leaping gnome Subject: The IRN Question - Vol 4, #1 Hoo, boy! That last set of answers sure was funny! I'm wiping tears from my eyes ... hoo, I can't stop laughing ... Oh, wait. I've left the nozzle open on the nitrous oxide under my desk. Never mind. (drumroll played on Ernest Borgnine's forehead) QUESTION NUMBER ONE: "Where am I?" (due midnight, 10-02) THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN SAY THAT WILL KEEP ME FROM UNDERSTANDING YOU #03 ACAD2A::ASRDW1 Wed 06 Oct 1993 02:59:55 ( 16/ 536) From: Royce - UAA Amateur Consulting Subject: The IRN Question, Volume 4, #2 Heavy hung the canopy of blue Shade my eyes and I can see you Bright was the light that shines through the dress that you wore She lay in the shadow of her wave Hazy were the visions of her plane Sunshine in her eyes, but moonshine made her blind every time Green is the colour of her kind The quickness of the eye deceives the mind Heavy is the bond between the hopeful and the damned - Pink Floyd QUESTION NUMBER TWO: "Who the hell do you think you are, anyway?" (due 10-12) #04 ACAD2A::ASFJP Wed 06 Oct 1993 10:18:13 ( 32/ 1152) From: Irrev. George W. Hayduke Subject: Re: The IRN Question, Volume 4, #2 In his most recent query, Mr. Williams concerns himself with just who in the hell I think I am, anyway. Allow me to answer: I am the Irreverend George Washington Hayduke, pastor of the Dobbs-Approved(tm) Negative First AntiSchism of Fill-In-The-Blank, Ltd, Discordian SubGenius. We all know that Connie Dobbs and Eris are one in the same. For more information, send $1 to PO box 140306, Dallas, TX, 75214. "We figured that if Jim Jones could get 900 people to kill themselves, that we could get 900 people to send us a dollar." -- Rev. Ivan Stang For information on the local Clench, send a buck three-eighty to Geo. W. Hayduke, PO box 232251, Anchorage AK 99523-2251, or kill me. Ranters needed for upcoming Devival. Pope Dr. Dr. (Mr. M.D.) David N. Meyer III, M.D., D.D.S., Pope of All New York, Idaho, and the Great Pacific Northwest is a bit pricey, you see. I imagine St. tENTATIVELY, a cONVENIENCE could be had cheap, if he remembered to show up. St. Janor Hypercleats would be fun to sneak into an Anchorage Fascist Temple service at some point. "It's Christ without a penis. He's part of the conspiracy." -- Prof. Mark Mothersbaugh #05 ACAD2A::ASBAM Wed 06 Oct 1993 10:49:19 ( 10/ 214) From: the Gothic Gopher Subject: Re: The IRN Question, Volume 4, #2 Uh... erm... well.... I don't know -- let me check. Is that okay? $ write sys$output f$trnlnm(f$user()) God Gee, Royce. I guess I'm God. Imagine that, huh? [I'm not insecure -- I'm computer dependent.] #06 ACAD2A::ASLJL Wed 06 Oct 1993 11:01:41 ( 15/ 432) From: The Lady Rhavyn Of The Art Subject: Re: The IRN Question, Volume 4, #2 Who the hell do I think I am ? Well first, I don't believe in hell as it was a christain creation and I am not christian. Each to thier own beliefs and each to thier own heaven or hell in thier religion. As for who I think I am? Well if I am in the university, I am a social security number in the computer and money to be taken and spent and lost! Otherwise? I have absoulutley no idea who I am. I am simply just me. Rhavyn #07 ACAD2A::PSALP Wed 06 Oct 1993 11:22:45 ( 1/ 20) From: Tag Team Subject: Re: The IRN Question, Volume 4, #2 Tag Team, who else? #08 ACAD3A::RXHELP Wed 06 Oct 1993 13:28:49 ( 7/ 230) From: The Prophet Subject: Re: The IRN Question, Volume 4, #2 I'm Tharak Thraxxian, the OverLord. I glide through the nets. All that is electronic is mine to survey. Mine to control. Here, I am a God. So remember this, mortal. Knowledge is power. And here, mine is the infite power... #09 ACAD2A::ISDPO Wed 06 Oct 1993 13:21:53 ( 21/ 1255) From: Caffiene Man Subject: Re: The IRN Question, Volume 4, #2 Who are you? Good question....we may have to consult the experts. As per Erikson's Identity v. Role Confusion: "To understand who you are, you must first acertain what you are. For example, are you vegitable, mineral, or animal? Of the college students I have met, most are vegitable, especially on the weekends. However, some can be labelled mineral, judging from the density of the individual. And a few are animal (See also: Fraternities). After a selection has been made as to the "what", you may continue on to the "who". This is one of the more important crisis for an individual to go through, and must be worked out as quickly as possible, or the individual will have intense headaches and a cronic craving for Neopolitan ice cream for the rest of his or her natural lives. Fortunately, we offer mass testing which can decifer who you are for you. What would you pay for such testing at your local college? But wait, thats not all. You will also receive a life-size poster of Sigmund Freud AND the new video-ginsu 3000: It'll cut through a titanium safe and still be able to tape Oprah. Now what would you pay? $10? $20? $50? NO, you will pay $697.95 plus shipping and handling. Thats right! Supply is limited, so order today." #10 ACAD2A::ASDRT Wed 06 Oct 1993 18:18:45 ( 1/ 34) From: Born-Again Coward Subject: Re: The IRN Question, Volume 4, #2 The little man who wasn't there. #11 ACAD2A::ASSPK Wed 06 Oct 1993 14:55:43 ( 31/ 1635) From: The Console Cowboy Subject: Well, since it seems you have all but decided not to even begin to support uaa.irn, I thought I would send you my answer which was posted there, since you didn't include it in your list of answers. Maybe you can drop it in the "too late for last issue" section of the next list. Later...... > > Where are am I? > > WE've all been asking that same question. Where exactly is Royce? Well, obviously the popular rumor of his death was greatly exagerated. Sad truly, I had heard that they were going to Saint him. Oh well, I guess we will have to just suffice with unsaintly Royce instead. I believe that Royce is Sam's evil twin and has been secretly lurking around campus doing all the things that have caused the huge influx of Sam sightings on campus. People have been seeing him everywhere. Some people even claim to have received e-mail from him. I was sure, that I saw Sam yesterday surrounded by this unearthly glow, like from beyond the grave, while destroy a tv, that was busy displaying original Star Trek shows, with a sledge hammer....hmmmm Well, maybe it was really Sam after all, and not Royce....I'm still not quite convinced though. Sam is everywhere...(didn't they make a song about this recently?) \-----------------------------------------------------------------------------/ \asspk@acad2.alaska.edu| Sean P. Kane,PO Box 232665,Anchorage,AK, 99523-2665 / \----------------------|------------------------------------------------------/ \kane@denali.arsc.edu |*"A friend is someone who helps you move. A real / \briersting@aol.com | friend is someone who helps you move a body."-Fnord / \-----------------------------------------------------------------------------/ #12 ACAD2A::ASTJM1 Wed 06 Oct 1993 18:51:24 ( 1/ 39) From: Equalizer Subject: Re: The IRN Question, Volume 4, #2 I think I are not meself today, Laddy! #13 ACAD3A::ASJLH Wed 06 Oct 1993 20:01:22 ( 4/ 33) From: Ivan Tsarevich Subject: Re: THE IRN Question... The Unapologetic Virgin #14 ACAD2A::ASSBC Wed 06 Oct 1993 19:56:33 ( 2/ 78) From: Panda Kahn Subject: Re: The IRN Question, Volume 4, #2 "I am", I said to no one there. But no one heard at all, not even the Royce. #15 ACAD3A::FSJJP Thu 07 Oct 1993 03:31:03 ( 4/ 63) From: I'm Corwin and so is He Subject: Re: The IRN Question, Volume 4, #2 Who the hell do I think I am ??? Who the hell are you !!!!!! #16 ACAD2A::ASGDS Thu 07 Oct 1993 09:18:09 ( 8/ 548) From: ......Pooh Styxx Subject: Re: The IRN Question, Volume 4, #2 Hmmmm, Veeeery Interesting. Ze patient is showink signs of Hostility perhaps it is time to cut his lithium with a low-level dossage of LSD. Zis should, if nossing produce zome amuzink results! ALso, increase his electro-loofa therapy to seven times a day nurse Jones. G: I dissagree doctore I think the lithium should be replaced by a low-level dossage of LSD. And that the patient should be strapped, naked, to the floor spread-eagled face up. At which point cream should be poured over his body and a dozen cats be allowed to lick it off! #17 ACAD2A::FSKJT Thu 07 Oct 1993 19:36:55 ( 2/ 66) From: Tam Lin Subject: Re: The IRN Question, Volume 4, #2 i really have no idea. perhaps what is more appropriate than who. #18 ACAD2A::ASRST Fri 08 Oct 1993 19:56:03 ( 10/ 299) A Subject: IRN List Mail Poll Ack_msg: #195 ACAD2A::ASRDW1 Fri 01 Oct 02:27 R STATUS: NO REPLY NECESSARY Of course, I wouldn't mind one. The purpose of this message is to see who is reading their mail. Don't want big IRN answers piling up in mailboxes that don't get looked at. Hey, I know how to use this hacksaw. :) #19 ACAD2A::ASBWC Sat 09 Oct 1993 01:47:50 ( 4/ 296) From: Brady Clark - UAA Math/CS Dept. Subject: Re: The IRN Question, Volume 4, #2 I am every pen you have ever lost. I am the missing bits from the dial-up problems of recent weeks. I am countless hair bands. I am Jimmy Hoffa. I am Joe Vogler. I am the missing link, and I have taught my parrot to recite all of Ross Perot's speeches. Expect him in your windowsill soon. #20 ACAD2A::FSCLH Sun 10 Oct 1993 19:10:12 ( 2/ 35) From: a (bi)sexual innuendo Subject: Re: THE I.R.N. ANSWER -- Vol 4, #1 *chuckle* can i quote you on taht? #21 ACAD2A::FSCLH Tue 12 Oct 1993 12:27:52 ( 16/ 421) From: the deranged bi queenie Subject: Re: The IRN Question, Volume 4, #2 hmm.. such an intersting question.. i'm suprised you don't know.. *I* am the supreme deity.... i'm the top dog.. the one above all others... higher than the deity of dogs or cats or computers or money.. hmm.. that reminds me.... i need to have a talk with this lower deity 'god' he's just causing way too much trouble... he really should watch how he lets people through his name around... *sigh* my work is never done.. #22 ACAD2A::ASLJL Tue 12 Oct 1993 16:15:52 ( 39/ 1423) From: The Lady Rhavyn Of The Art Hi there royce I wrote this and I have the addresses of the people who answered your last question, and I was wondering if it would be alright to send it to them, I was going to check with you first. Oh you can re type it if you want. I don't think I did a good job of explaining I just thougth since you have a news group, sean doesn't claim the right to its, he says its yours, that you should use, it, you can post the answeres there when you compile and answer them. well here it is, go ahead and change it, if you want help running the newsgroup, I would be willing to help you. Hello there everyone, There is the anunews group, uaa.irn, found at number 1851, this is from ( ASRDW1) royces Original IRN. I post his question there every time he send one out, so you can answer there as well as directly to him. So if you missed the questions or answer you can pick them up in the anu news groups at number 1851. For those of you who don't use news Type at you dollar prompt $anu You will get a thing that says something about connecting and a bunch of dots................................. Then a blank screen. and then the news groups will come up. A new prompt will say NEWS> Type at the news prompt 1851 NEWS> 1851 hit return and it will take you to uaa.irn. hit return to enter into it, and then hit return when you want to read what people posted. to get out of just type exit and hit return #23 ACAD2A::ASRDW1 Fri 08 Oct 1993 23:26:39 ( 8/ 456) From: Royce - UAA Amateur Consulting Subject: IRN Weird Sam Alert For those of you who know and love him, the Irreverend Robert "Weird" Samuel Travis has returned from his sojourn across the United States ... will expect a full report from him for the IRN soon ... for those of you who do not know him, be assured that his IRN answers are always of the highest weirdness caliber ... drop him a note to let him know that he is loved, admired, and occasionall flogged. ... AND THE INCREDIBLE FROG BOY IS ON THE LOOSE AGAIN