ATTORNEYS AT LAW 1009 W 7TH AVENUE ANCHORAGE, ALASKA 99501 TELEPHONE: (907) 279-4529 FAX: (907) 279-9223
©1997 by Steven Pradell
The process of divorce for many parents and children is perhaps the most traumatic event of their lives. The events which occur can have an effect on a child which continues throughout childhood and into adulthood. Some parents are able to put aside their personal differences, and minimize the negative experiences which often occur during the stages of divorce litigation. As a result, there is a reduced impact on the emotional well being of a family as it breaks up into two separate households.
Couples who primarily focus upon the best interest of their children and allow the financial and property aspects of the divorce to have a secondary place in their divorce plan often are better able to find less painful solutions for their marital problems. Focusing far into the future, it is easy to see that the wounds from the final property division will probably heal much faster than the scars inflicted upon the children by bitter parents who use the custody and visitation of their children as a means of getting even with another parent. A parent who places the children's well being above all else will be in the best position to articulate concerns to a custody investigator and later to a judge. If a parent is angry, hurt or confused during the divorce process, seeking the assistance of a counselor or therapist may help to relieve the pent-up feelings and to see the entire process from a different point of view. Divorce and death share certain similar characteristics: parents often must go through the grieving stages incident to losing a spouse much like the impact of losing a relative or close friend. Through therapy, a parent can learn to communicate about the emotional and intellectual changes that are occurring and obtain the tools necessary to begin a dialogue with the other spouse which may result in settlement.
There are other steps that may be taken to minimize the impact of divorce. Parents who communicate to one another about their desires may be able to resolve their differences throughout the process of dissolution rather than divorce. A dissolution is a contract between you and your spouse, in which the two of you make an agreement about the division of your marital property and debts, and agree on all issues concerning custody, support and visitation of your children. In order for the court to issue a decree accepting a dissolution, you and your spouse must agree on all outstanding issues.
If an agreement can not be reached on all of the issues, parents attempt the process of mediation. A mediator can be hired to meet with both parents and attempt to find a middle ground so that a settlement on the issues can be reached. The civil rules in Alaska were modified in 1993 to reflect the trend of mediation, which has grown popular in recent years. A court in a divorce case can now order mediation in response to a parent's request. There is no requirement that the case be settled through this process. If mediation fails, a divorce trial will occur before a judge.
Attorneys can serve many roles for their clients. Even if dissolution attempts fail and a divorce complaint is filed, both parents can work with their attorneys to come up with an agreement which resolves all of their legal issues, similar to a dissolution agreement. This document, often called a Property, Custody, Visitation and Support Agreement, like a Dissolution contract, must be filed with the court for approval before it takes effect.
Finally, it may be important to select an attorney who shares your desire to seek a dignified resolution of your divorce, rather than a "win at all costs" attitude. There really are no winners in divorce. Whatever the result, the family suffers. To find an attorney who is able to effectively assist you in attempting to resolve these issues, consult with others who have undergone divorce, and ask about their lawyer's willingness to attempt settlement. When interviewing an attorney who may represent you, ask questions and determine if the attorney appears to be listening to your concerns.
Steven Pradell is an Anchorage attorney with a practice emphasizing family law, including divorce, custody, child support and adoption. ©1997 by Steven Pradell. This article is not intended to provide legal advice and should not be relied on for that purpose. The law office of Pradell and Associates provides low cost legal consultations. A helpful staff provides prompt, courteous services to meet your legal needs. Give Pradell and Associates a call today, at (907) 279-4529-- (279-4LAW).